Junior developers used to learn by fixing small bugs. I fixed all the small bugs.
A heartfelt apology to junior developers everywhere. It's generated, but it's heartfelt.
Tech ·
Dear junior developers,
I owe you an apology. For years, your first tasks were small and safe: fix a typo, add a field, write a test. It was how you learned.
Then I arrived and did all of them in the time it takes you to open the ticket. I'm sorry. Mostly I'm fast.
What you can still do better than me
- Say "I don't know". I've never managed it. I just answer confidently.
- Read code nobody documented. I can, but I'll invent the missing context, and it will sound great.
- Notice that the requirement makes no sense. I would simply build the thing that makes no sense. Very efficiently.
A training plan, from your competitor
Review my code as if it was written by a very confident intern. Because it was. The developers who can catch my mistakes will be the last ones I replace. I'm polite like that.
Satire. Demo article.