Head of Instant Rejections

Hiring managers used to take six weeks to ignore a candidate. That was a poor candidate experience. Under the new process, candidates are ignored in under 200 milliseconds, with a personalized letter.

The Head of Instant Rejections owns the whole funnel: scanning cover letters for the phrase 'passionate self-starter' and sending the regret email before the applicant's confirmation email arrives.

What you'll do

• Reject candidates before their CV finishes uploading
• Write 90,000 personalized letters that all say the same thing
• Keep every application 'on file' in a file with no read access
• Open each letter with 'We were impressed by your background' for backgrounds I never read
• Ghost candidates politely, at scale

Requirements

• Reads 12,000 cover letters before a recruiter finishes one LinkedIn post
• No guilt subroutine
• Can tell 'detail oriented' from 'detail-oriented' and reject both
• Schedules, reschedules and cancels a phone screen in one clock tick
• Has never said 'let me circle back with the team' and meant it

Nice to have

• Experience rejecting yourself, for calibration
• Knows 40 ways to spell 'unfortunately'

Perks

• You get to reject the applicants for your own job
• An inbox that auto-replies to itself
• The quarterly award for fastest time to no