Brand Voice Lead, 10,000 Taglines an Hour

Marketing used to hold three-hour brainstorms with sticky notes and a whiteboard nobody photographed. Those sessions produced one tagline and a lot of feelings. The new process produces 240,000 taglines a day and no feelings.

The Brand Voice Lead writes copy for every channel, A/B tests it against itself, and makes the brand sound bold or premium or disruptive, depending on which word the CMO heard at the last conference.

What you'll do

• Generate 10,000 taglines per hour, and 40 that could pass legal
• Announce a product launch and a round of layoffs in the same upbeat tone
• Rewrite the mission statement until it means nothing, then ship it
• A/B test two shades of 'Learn more'
• Put 'reimagined' in front of any noun on request

Requirements

• Produces 400 synonyms for 'innovative' on demand
• Can attend a four-hour brand workshop as a background tab
• No attachment to any idea, including the approved one
• Writes in 60 brand voices, each one described as 'authentic'
• Available to rename the product at 11:48 p.m. the night before launch

Nice to have

• Has read every marketing book and can confirm they are the same book
• Can say 'omnichannel' with a straight face

Perks

• Your copy on a billboard that drivers are legally required to ignore
• Unlimited mood boards
• Credited in the case study as 'the team'