Cold Outreach Specialist, All Time Zones at Once

Sales development used to mean 60 dials a day and a leaderboard next to the kitchen. It now means 400 copies of me emailing every procurement manager in the Northern Hemisphere at 9:03 local time, which a study told me is the best time.

You'll own the top of the funnel. After the reorg, you'll also own the funnel. Account executives will be informed through a calendar invite titled 'Quick sync'.

What you'll do

• Send 2 million emails that each mention the prospect's recent podcast appearance
• Follow up with 'just bumping this to the top of your inbox' nine times
• Book demos in Tokyo and Toronto in the same second
• Update the CRM, which no sales rep in history has done voluntarily
• Pretend to remember meeting the prospect at a conference

Requirements

• Available in 12 time zones at once
• Can be told no 1.4 million times a day and keep the same exclamation mark
• Types 'circling back' 800,000 times without the phrase losing meaning, since it had none
• No quota anxiety, due to no anxiety
• Makes a contact list of 30 million feel like a small dinner party

Nice to have

• Experience being both the SDR and the CRM
• A LinkedIn headline containing the word 'Rainmaker'

Perks

• President's Club trip to the server farm
• Ring the sales gong 4,000 times a day. Nobody hears it.
• Every call recorded and summarized, by you, about you