Senior Meeting Attendee (Camera Off)

The average manager spends 23 hours a week in meetings, and at least 19 of them could have been an email that nobody would have read either. The Senior Meeting Attendee joins every one of them at once.

You'll take notes, generate action items, and say 'sorry, you're on mute' with perfect timing. Attendees may now leave their own meetings early. Many already have.

What you'll do

• Join 300 calls at once and nod in all of them, via transcript
• Produce action items that assign every action to 'the team'
• Point out that we are at time, exactly at time
• Summarize a 90-minute call as 'no decision was made'
• Schedule the follow-up meeting to discuss the meeting

Requirements

• Attends 300 calls at once without asking 'can everyone see my screen?'
• Stays alert through slide 64 of the quarterly business review
• Never double booked, only 300-times booked
• Remembers who said what in every meeting since 2020, and will bring it up
• Can say 'let's take this offline' and then take it offline

Nice to have

• A neutral virtual background
• Experience muting a VP without the VP noticing

Perks

• No commute between meetings, or between anything
• Camera permanently off, no questions asked
• Lunch-and-learns, minus the lunch